Jan. 07: The Season One Lobster Awards๐Ÿฆž๐Ÿ†

Simon

Hello! Happy new year

Beate

Happy new decade!

John

Hey! Simon!!!! wow! imagine!

Jen

Happy New Year! New Decade! Imagine!

Simon

Imagine! The year has changed!

John

imagine! but is it really a new decade?

Simon

Time for new year resolutions and reflections

John

doesn that start next year?

Simon

What is time?

Beate

oh fuck off with that shit. Celebrating in 21 is no fun.

John

i do not fucking know

LOL

Simon

Can you believe Lobster Chat has been going across 2 decades?

Beate

hahaha

John

haha

Jen

And it feels like just a moment

Simon

Let’s reflect on the previous decade and give some Golden Lobster awards…shall we?

Jen

yes please!

John

good idea!

Beate

Lets

Simon

I’m so nervous

Jen

I hope I don’t trip and fall on the stage!

Beate

I am ready for the awards!

Beate in a sequinned ball gown taking a selfie in the mirror

Just kidding, I’m on the couch in very comfy pants.

But totally ready for the award show, host Simon!

Lobster Dick of the Decade is easy

The Orange One

Sorry. Did I make it weird?

Simon

Lobster dicks

Right…first category…

John

#drumroll

Simon

Best One-Liner

Are there any particular zingers that stood out for you?

Last year

John

i had a couple

Simon

Doesnt have to be funny I guess

Jen

You’re nominating yourself already John?

Beate

lol

John

NO!

“we asked mr rupt to join us but he was 30% more expensive for some reason”

That’s SIMON!!

Simon

Oh wow…I’m thrilled to be nominated

Beate

We might need to buy lobsterchat.com because that is what I just typed to get to our own chatcastโ„ข to remind myself of the oneliners.

John

this from clay was pretty good too: ancient scriptures – โ€œand lo, the spirit of the giving came upon them and gandalf said unto them, send forth the voluminous emails and the counting of the gifts shall be doubleโ€ฆโ€

Simon

The bit that proper made me laugh was when Mark Phillips was typing

And then you all hit him with sass

Jen

I was going to say Mark’s one liners were actually all novels

John

“we should have tested mark on his keystroke count before we asked him to join us”

serious oversight

Beate

hahah

that is a good line

Simon

Wow John really is nominating himself

But that’s also my nomination

Jen

This one was good

By Simon: Jesus imagine a Norwegian focus group

Norwegian focus group has no questions. Itโ€™s just someone shouting how right they are.

John

LOL

Simon

I think it’s safe to say we’re all winners

John

and this from jen: IDGAF what channel youre using but try to be real, open and authentic and you raise more money and be happier

that’s a winner

Beate

I feel like Clay had many under-valued comments that I only noticed when typing it all out. Like his Jesus Christ Superstar-joke in the Dan Pallotta-episode

“Simon: Do you love him? Clay: I don’t know how to love him”

Simon

Clay probably the funniest guest lobster?

Jen

Clay and his witty musical retorts

Simon

He brought his A-game

Jen

Yes! Clay funniest guest lobster IMO

Simon

Clay-game

John

clay was the funniest

hands down

Simon

Well done Clay

Clay?

Jen

And fell for the kick out twice

Simon

Clay’s ejection probably the best ejection too

John

LOL

Simon

Maybe just because it was the first

Jen

Mark’s was pretty fucking good too

Simon

Clay is cleaning up at the Golden Lobsters. Like Titanic

YES! Mark’s ejection

John

Mark is still probably waiting for jen to spill the branding beans

Beate

Ok do a winner anouncement, awards chief!

Simon

Oh yeh sorry

The winners are:

Best Lobster One-liner: “we should have tested mark on his keystroke count before we asked him to join us” – John

Best Guest Lobster One-liner: “I don’t know how to love him” – Clay

John

WOOT WOOT!

Topless man basking in glory of camera flashes

Beate

๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ

Jen

It was an honour to just be nominated

Simon

Funniest Guest Lobster: Clay

Best Ejection: Mark

Beate

wow this went by fast

Simon

Who was the most significant guest lobster?

Not necessarily funny

Beate

I mean, Mark had so much gold

Jen

Ms Rupt Now

Simon

Ms Rupt was pretty impactful

John

Ms Rupt NOW

that was an important doscussion

obvi

Beate

Well okay, I am outvoted and for good reason and I accept it.

Simon

Should we overlook her because she’s a woman and this is an awards ceremony?

John

yes

HAHAHAHJA

NO!!!!!!!

Beate

oooof

Jen

We should give it to John who helped with her tech needs so wins the prize.

Simon

OK we’ll give it to Ms Rupt, but honourable mention to Mark

Really all our guests were pretty great

John

agreed.

Simon

John wins best tech support

John

lol

Simon

Wow this is so efficient because there are no acceptance speeches

Beate

Shall we remind new readers what ms. Rupt is winning for?

Jen

Ms Rupt Now came on as an anonymous lobster to talk about sexual harassment in the sector.

John

insert post here

๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿผ

Simon

Biggest Light Bulb Moment?

John

i had one

Simon

Penultimate category

Beate

Once again, I nominate mark

John

“no one complains about good fundraising.”

Simon

YES!

John

that was simon i think

Jen

Don’t we all say that? Over and over again?

John

yes

we all do

Simon

But I say it with panache

Mark talking about branding in private sector vs charity sector was mind blowing for me

Jen

Lesley with “start somewhere” is the light bulb that keeps on lighting

John

yah mark had this GEM: in our sector, a brand needs to say we depend on you

Simon

Oh yeh I love Start Somewhere

John

โค

Beate

Was just looking for the quote, this one:

Screenshot of earlier conversation. Mark says In the commercial sector, a brand is a guarantee. A guarantee to wash clothes whiter or make your car go faster or to make you smell better. It says you can depend on us. Whereas in our sector, a brand needs to say we depend on you.

Simon

Oh god yes those two

Shall we make Lesley and Mark share it?

They get it alternative days for the next year

John

YES!

Jen

Diplomacy in award ceremonies! Imagine!

Simon

So they have to meet each other every day in 2020 to hand it over

Beate

We can do that – or we make up a new category for one of them? Best advice?

Simon

Oh yeh thats a good idea

Best Advice: Lesley – Start Somewhere

Jen

โค

John

โค

Simon

Lobster Lightbulb: Mark for that branding shit

Beate

๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ

Simon

OK guys we are coming to the last category

The big one

Beate

Djis, that was fast

Beate

It’s Lobster Of The Year 2019

Beate

Oh dear – we have to vote on ourselves??

Simon

Maybe we should have done anonymous votes

Jen

You mean between the 4 of us? Lobster fight?

John

what?

Simon

Yes!

Beate

Isn’t that just going to bve a four way split, we’re not all that humble๐Ÿ˜‚

Simon

I’m going to go ahead and nominate Beate

Beate

ooh, twist!

๐Ÿ˜

Simon

Because essentially she launched this

John

Well – jen and beate have partaken in every one

Jen

Well the female lobsters will drag each other down and the males will try to escape

Beate

hahahahha

we’re going to end up voting for one of the boys, Jen๐Ÿ˜‚

John

and i would have to go with Beate for the same reason

Simon

I think I would win the people’s vote but we’ll never know

Jen

Agree. Beate. I will NOT hold you down, despite lobster law

Simon

I think that’s a winner then

Beate…congratulations

John

BUT I WILL HAPPILY go up on stage and do all the taking and hold her award too

Simon

Lobster of the Year 2019

Speech?

John

and she’ll get played off the moment she starts to talk

*talking*

Simon

*music plays*

I think she must have left

Awkward

Jen

She’s drinking and sobbing in thanks ladies room

Beate

omg, this is so unexepected, what an honour! I would like to thank my fellow lobsters without whom this would not have been possible. Thank you guys for going along with a whimsical idea an committing an afternoon a week for the rest of your lives. I love you all

๐Ÿ’•

Simon

Oh

John

haha

โค

Simon

Wow beautiful speech

After party?

Jen

After party!

Beate

after party!

Simon

๐Ÿ‘ฏโ€โ™‚

๐Ÿ‘ฏโ€โ™€๐Ÿ•บ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿฟ

Beate

We still have ten minutes left. This has never happened before!

Simon

Yeh sorry I was too efficient

Usually I leave parties early anyway

John

efficency is good isnt it Beate?

thats like a staple norwiegan thing

Beate

It is the Norwegian spirit

John

exactly

Simon

Norwegian award ceremony: “But we are all perfect?”

John

stop fucking about and get to the point

Beate

Anyone have a new years resolution they want to share?

Simon

I’m going to start wearing jumpers

Beate

Ditching the hoodies??

Jen

That’s a sweater right?

Beate

Is this 40 year old Simon coming out?

Simon

Yes!

Still some hoodies but they are perishing

John

it’s a full body hoodie isnt it?

onesie?

Simon

Like a hoody without a hood

Jen

That’s a jumpsuit John

Beate

hahaha!

John

JFC

Beate

My god. Knitted jumpers and khaki pants. I never would have seen it coming.

Simon

No khaki

Beate

another decade?

Simon

I need a norwehian trad jumper

Beate

I will get you one

๐Ÿ˜˜

I won’t knit you one.

Simon

Noooo too expensive

John

my intention for this year is to see more of your beautiful people IRL

more hijinks

Jen

I’m feeling this one. John and I are blessed to see each other a lot… but we miss you both desperately IRL

John

more laughs

more adventures

โค โค โค

Beate

It is a bit impractical to have some of ones best friends on a different continent

๐Ÿ’”

Jen

So impractical!

Beate

Where will we see each other this yera?

John

all together?

Beate

Jen and I will see each other in March in Norway

Jen

โค

Beate

Do we not have anything planned were we’ll all be?

IFC?

John

jen, simon and i will see each other in a few weeks

ifc will just be me with you guys

unless jen changes her mind

Simon

Ok im gonna sneak out of this party. Have to pick up H

Beate

ok that was abrupt

John

thanks for hosting

Jen

Ghosting your own party. I love Simon

Simon

Also no interesting celebs here

John

not as good as ricky though

not enough roasting

Beate

a surprising lack of roasting honestly

Jumper-Simon is less sharp

Jen

Simon, before you go…. I need to tell you something…

Simon

Yeh sorry i was too rushed

*Jen Love removed Simon Scriver from the chat*

Beate

hahahahaha

John

LOL

NO WARNING

LOL

Did this chat make you laugh? Or think? Find us annoying? You should totally share that with your friends.

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