May 12: Simon has a radical idea and Gerald lives Posted byBeate May 17, 2020May 17, 2020 Leave a comment on May 12: Simon has a radical idea and Gerald lives Beate Hallo! John hello? i thought we moved this to 12 Beate? lol Beate Did we? Didn’t simon say keep it at the same time? Maybe we didn’t Maybe I’ve just made myself a fresh cup of shipped-from-oslo coffee half an hour early *30 minutes later* Beate Nå da? John YES! Simon is just wrapping up his show But I think we can get started. he can take a breath and join us Beate yep, Jen has to leave in 30 so let’s get started 🙂 John clicks record button. CLICK! Good afternoon lobster friends Beate Can’t believe you still believe you have any say over when this thing starts recording Jen Hello hello! John Since I was hosting today – i thought i would pivot away from what everyone seems to be talking about ALL THE TIME Beate Norway Day on May 17th you mean? Fiscal year end? John which is course is how miserable we are from COVID-19 Beate The weather? John lol Simon So sorry! Jen Hey Simon! GREAT show today I was sobbing listening to Nicki and her make a wish story! John No… I thought the 4 of us could pull out our crystal balls and talk about the one or two things we think will be the big changes that will come to our sector after this is over… we all have our corners of expertise… so Beate? Simon? Jen? Simon Great idea Jen 🔮 Beate Hm. The one thing I think, which has nothing to do with my expertise or our sector, is that a lot more sectors will ask rather than sell I think they find it works better Like artists Jen Well said — ask rather than sell! John how do you mean Beate? Beate Now they’ve been forced to try it out and found that people respond better and generosity feels good Jen Reminds me of Amanda Palmer… #legend Simon From Twin Peaks? Beate I mean all those artists who have now had living room concerts streamed while asking people to donate if they wish, rather than sell tickets. John man… so i can donate $30 and watch coldplay play in their studio from the comfort of my counch – in HD and 7.1 sound? brilliant Beate Yeah! And I can still take part even if I can’t afford that $30. Simon You’re not going to like my answer. I think it’s the beginning of the end for charity Beate ho? no how? Simon Just a total shift in how money works, how services are provided and how wealth is distrubuted Simon go on simon Simon I guess charities will exist…but to implement services paid for by state Fundraising will die out because it’s a ridiculous concept Beate So basically becoming norwegian? Jen I was JUST about to say this. Simon More Norwegian than the Norwegians John OOF – read the fucking room simon. Simon Charity is beautiful. And giving is beautiful But Americans raising money to pay for their healthcare is diabolical Beate Yeah, that’s true John Agreed Beate Charities shouldn’t be a part of basic infrastrucutre or fundraising Simon The fact that pretty much any charity exists is a disgrace. And I dont think we’ll have the tolerance for this system after that John oh man Jen I think one of the major things being exposed is that billionaires are not going to save us. Big philanthropy is cancelled. Tax billionaires more instead Beate yeeees!!! John imagine Beate Trickle down is dead for good should be, at least Jen I also recognize my epic privilege in this discussion given the family dynasty that I am part of. John so the world is going to turn into a socialist state? Beate Like I said on twitter when this whole thing started, I am so happy to pay my taxes right now. Because it now pays for keeping about half a million jobs open for when we return to normal Simon Haha this billionaire stuff is such a joke Like wow so generous Motherfuckers there’s kids dying from no water That was already happening Chop chop Jen Imagine! Airline bailouts for Richard Branson. Amazon/Bezos asking employees to donate sick time… corruption through and through Beate THAT AMAZON THING HAS ME SO ENRAGED!!! The fucking nerve!! To ask NORMAL PEOPLE to donate towards your employees sick leave, when you can easily pay for it yourself and still have billions of dollars left?? The fucking nerve I say!! 💪💪💪 Simon Totally! How can we go back to the way things were after this kind of stuff? John Imagine Simon Socialism maybe. Maybe try communism again. Maybe something new One idea I have is that everyone can have anything they want. But they have to queue for it Like you can have a 6 million dollar yacht but get on the waiting list Beate Hahaha John now that’s an interesting idea Jen All lottery system all the time…that’s actually how some of the best real estate in Toronto works Simon Lottery is a great idea For food Beate Now we’re moving beyond Norway and into communism, just flagging it Simon “What’s for dinner tonight?” “Fuck knows” Jen “get in line, kids” Simon Yeh Norway doesn’t go far enough for me Beate “I don’t know what’s for dinner, how long do you want to queue?” Simon Yeh exacltly! I can make you a peanut butter sandwich right now or pizza delivery in 8 hours John this is a brilliant idea because now it all becomes about time not money Simon Exactly! Beate But time has no meaning any more Simon The true equaliser Money is never an equaliser But we’ll all die John 🤯 Simon Anyway I’m just thinking out loud. I’m tired John Ok fuck i was just going to talk about direct mail Beate Hahahah We should have let you go first John no – im glad i didnt this is way more interesting Beate Hopefully your tragically outdated system of paying with CHEQUES will die out Simon Haha John everyone has been saying direct mail is dead for 20 years now i think its safe to say an org that doesnt close it’s dooors after this had better be reviewing their access to donor data and their online priocesses ive heard Beate what do you mean? access to donor data? John a stat that says potentially 75% of all resturants may be shuttered if this goes on much longer…. here in Canada Beate also your message structure is an absolute mess Is it to avoid the appearance of slow typing? reads like a fucking haiku John Sheesh Jen I would also think we will all be side-eying why we need to go and work in shitty old buildings under blinding fluorescent lights to do our jobs as fundraisers. Simon Yeh surely the office environment is clearly dated now The perma-office, anyway Beate I can not WAIT to go back to an office, seriously, I miss it so much. People❤ Noise❤ Hugs❤ John i mean – there are fundraisers at hoime right now who cant even access their donors data – not phone, not email not mail so i was going to ask – can we imagine a scenerio where 75% of charities go under – out of business Simon I think we’re all going to know one or many charities that can’t survive this. It’s going to be really sad Jen Or merge Simon And scale back Jen I could see much more of a focus on collective impact…donors might not be loyal to charities as much as to causes… know what I mean? Beate Yeah, somehow I think replacing lost revenue in gift is going to be a harder sell than replacing lost revenue in sales from a government, I mean. Simon Oof Yeh Jen I also hope that what stays is vulnerability being a new currency in fundraising has to be honest, authentic and come from a place of empathy and gratitude… Beate One good thing though: It’s MUCH easier to remote work when everyone does it! Though I don’t know if it will last when we’re back to most people being in the room again. Jen This is another whole rabbit hole here too. Who was never really in the room in the first place and how can we get them there? More women, more people of colour, more gender diverse folks… Beate Yeah, that’s true. And imagine all the participation from those who can’t leave their homes. So many concerts, shows, stand-ups – all those things they can now enjoy I hope we keep that John there are so many big ideas to unpack here time and accessiblilty not money and exclusivity Jen nice nutshell john! Beate so good John i know jen has to bounce shortly and i need to eat betwen calls and i know we could chat about this all day i have a quick story and fact to close us out for now Simon Yesssss Jen story time and fact time! John ok and this is 100% true here in waterdown where i live… outside of toronto… at our grocery store, we had a MONSTER lobster come in – to be sold… he was over 8lbs the folks at the grocery store named him Gerald most of the lobsters are about 1.25lb or 1.5lb Jen Yes! I remember the Gerald! Another legend! John a few people took notice and two camps/team emerged. TEAM EAT and TEAM SAVE…(I was on team eat… obvi) So TEAM SAVE crowd sourced enough money to buy him before TEAM EAT did and saved GERALD the lobster.. and drove him down the road to retire at the Ripley’s aquarium in TORONTO where he still lives today… Jen OH MAN I NEVER KNEW THE END OF THAT STORY!!!!!! ❤ Beate how much is 8 lbs? What approximately weighs the same? Just so I can imagine since us metrics don’t know what that means Simon What’s a lb? Oh 3.6 kilo That’s like 3.6 bags of kilo sugar Beate Ah, an average newborn! John yup Beate Wow, that is a giant fucking lobster John Here’s Gerald at the aquarium: John the whole story is here: Giant Lobster Goes From Death Row To Stardom Gerald was saved by a group of people on Facebook. John HE WAS A MONSTER Beate Don’t say that poor gerald John he would have been fucking delicious Beate I wish there was some kind of size indicator in that photo John so there you go thanks for this RAPID FIRE chat today… maybe we can unpack it a bit more next week Beate Norway is opening back up again now, I’ll let you know how life is on the outside🙌🏼 Simon It feels like we’re all really busy despite lockdown! Beate Big hugs❤ (i miss hugs!) Did this chat make you laugh? Or think? Find us annoying? You should totally share that with your friends.